Through every big moment in our lives there are times of waiting. Waiting and anticipating what will be. Waiting with excitement and maybe a little frustration at times. Anytime we are in a waiting pattern, we are being shaped and aligned with something bigger than ourselves. Something is happening and we are being prepared for it. Some enjoy the anticipation more than the actual thing they are waiting to be or to happen.
Over the past year we waited to put our house on the market for the right timing. We waited for closing days. We waited for the moving truck to arrive and then the move. God has shown up in every detail of the move. Within the wind and within the sunshine, I feel God’s presence so closely as we obey what He has been and continues to reveal to us. I keep these words in my daily prayers, help us see, feel and hear what you want us to see, feel and hear, Lord. I don’t want to miss any of the lessons he is revealing to us through this move.
Life lately has felt like I am holding this large gift box with a big red bow on top that I get to slowly unfold week after week as God shows us something new or something that I’ve known all along but it just all appears magnified like never before. When we made plans to move from Arizona to Alabama we got through the house selling and then the next steps were to find a place to land in AL while we build our home. The first rental house that popped up on my screen wasn’t fancy, but it was the only one in the area we hoped to be that allowed dogs. There wasn’t much time to think on it so I called and got it rented for our arrival. The preparing began and at this moment I knew we walking into preparation for what was to come, but never realised the preparation was on a deeper level than the actual move. I think back on sitting in my car in the Scottsdale AZ Dunkin Donuts parking lot nailing down all the details for this move and I wish I could see God smiling as He made all the pieces fall into place. I laugh knowing God has to have such a great sense of humor knowing we will plan, fumble, shake it off and try again. The only way I can keep going and try again is because I know God holds the plan and He is the way.
We got the rental house papers all signed and closed on the land that felt like God had held onto for us all these years later. We had built our first house in AL right next to the land we were now buying to build again. We had walked this land and known this land very well and now we had plans to build directly beside the house we had first built 20 years ago.
The first stop after landing back in AL was the rental house and at first glance and how tired we all were, we were just grateful to have a roof over our heads. It was nothing fancy, but it was a house, in a safe area, that our dogs could live in with us and really just being together was all that mattered to us. When we arrived to the house, it was nighttime so the first morning we woke up in the rental the sunshine was beaming through the windows. I woke up and walked out into the backyard that I didn’t know but it all felt familiar. In AZ, my mornings were full of loud birds all around our house that filled our backyard in the desert. This backyard was a little different with large sweeping pine trees and as I watched the trees sway in the cool morning breeze, I noticed perched up on the chain link fence, a red cardinal. It almost looked fake, it was so stunning. I didn’t want to move and scare the bird because I wanted this view to last as long as it could. It may just be as we age, but the birds in the desert felt like messengers from God full of grace and peace. I had prayed many times as we prepared to move that God would keep my eyes open to the birds and the details that He was revealing to me through the birds. I watched that cardinal thanking God for His guidance and provision. I knew God was near and that He had us right where He wanted us, no matter what the rental appeared to look like to the eye. This was just the beginning of the unfolding that God had for us.
Second stop was to the land where the dreaming started twenty years ago. A lot of life in between and three healthy boys later, the dreaming continued and the land felt like an exclamation point. As we drove through our old stomping grounds, past the farms, the water, the cotton fields, the horse stables and all the churches with our windows down and the summer sun beating on our cheeks, I saw a church sign and it caught my eye. I slowed down and the verse that is my life verse. The verse that I repeat daily through the good and the bad. The verse that my brother left behind in his wallet after he passed away, that felt like a message straight from God as we prepared for his funeral details and life without him on earth. The church sign that is about three miles from our new house build read, God is our strength and refuge, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46.1 It felt like time stood still. I smiled with tears filling my eyes, knowing God was in that detail and that I didn’t miss it. I felt Him close. This was another fold of the bow to the gift God was guiding us into as we were obeying His will. God had prepared us for all these moments, but it was all so overwhelming to think of the tiny details He knew my heart would need through this move. He was right. He always is.
A huge part of my life are within church community small groups, prayers groups and the bible studies that I have walked into not knowing a soul and coming out with forever praying friendships. I think when you pick up and move away from one place to head to another, the friendships may shift some, but they are forever. I grieved leaving Arizona, but it was really the friendships within my small groups that I was grieving most. I knew God had placed me into these groups for growth and lessons I didn’t even know I needed, and I knew no matter where God took us, He would place me again. It was the preparing and the wait of it all that hurt and then that is where my faith deepens, just as He knew it would.
I remember wrestling with God through my prayers, longing for bible studies and friends that you love and know talk to God about you and cover you in prayer daily. I’ve studied with Community Bible study over the last five years and it has become my daily Bible study. With the move, I had looked online to find a group close by and didn’t see one close by so I opted for the online study. Trusting God’s plan, but wrestling the thought of studying His word online with an online group. I did the first day online with the group and knew it was going to be a challenge. I’m not a huge fan of technology.. I know I know we need it and it can be used for good, but I am old school and I love face to face bible studies. I knew this was going to to be harder than I thought. The following week came up and as I was at the boys school I had a friend that I have known for years introduce me to her friend that also has three boys. It is like an immediate bond when you meet another mom that has three boys in similar ages to your boys ages. It’s like unspoken words of understanding the controlled chaos that you both can bond over without even hearing the stories. This friend invited me to a weekly bible study near the boys school and it was as if God was saying, hold on and get ready to pull the other side of that bow. This was the beginning of a giant unfolding that I couldn’t have planned any better.
That prayer that I had begged God to bring spirit-filled friends into my life was right in front of me. I started going to this weekly bible study and with each Thursday it is as God walks me to that front door saying, I told you I would provide. I take a deep breath every time I walk into that bible study knowing He placed me there. Community takes time, but the way God placed me within those walls feels like a gift in itself. Then within this small group bible study, my friend briefly mentioned she does a local bible study. My human thoughts hit me and I didn’t want to seem too nosy, so I just happened to mention how hard it had been studying with an online bible study group. With more time and chat we then realised we were both doing the same study with community bible study. I was just doing the online study while she knew of a local church group that had the same study workbook. I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to. I joined the local community Bible study group the following week and again got to unfold the big red bow that God was guiding me to unwrap slowly but surely.
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9
With this move, the good and the bad, I can step back now and see the preparation and the steps He established with every detail. God was working all things for our good and more importantly for His plan for our lives. There are many more unfolding bow moments that have been and that will continue to be, but for now I am holding the gift box that I believe is full of God’s love and presence as He forms me and all of us into the person He created us to be. No matter where we live, we will trust God is always faithful and His ways are better than our own.
Keep focused on God and you will see Him in every detail.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
